As Kit noted this morning, the last Wednesday before national signing day has been a slow news day. How so? So slow that Georgia has had two player arrests in the last 15 months yet is tied for the Fulmer Cup lead, Isaiah Crowell performed as well as any top-tier freshman tailback in the nation yet still is considered a disappointment, we may be on the verge of seeing a 19-game SEC basketball schedule and a seven-win football bowl-eligibility requirement, and Mark Richt going to church on a Wednesday night is considered newsworthy.
Basically, there is nothing new under the sun. Well, unless you count . . .
. . . the fact that Nike unveiled its new Hyper Elite Platinum basketball uniforms today!
Wait . . . what?
I thought “Pro Combat” football uniforms were silly enough, but now we’re into “Hyper Elite Platinum” basketball uniforms? “Hyper Elite Platinum”? Really? Is that like double-secret probation? Is “Hyper Elite Platinum” the type of record you’re awarded if you sell as many albums in a career as Elvis did? If your kid gets caught wearing his Hyper Elite Platinum jersey to elementary school, will they put him on Ritalin? If your wife is feeling sassy when she goes to get her hair done, will she ask her stylist to put in some Hyper Elite Platinum highlights? Will the winner of “Project Runway” receive a modeling contract from the Hyper Elite Platinum agency? Is it possible that “Hyper Elite Platinum” is Phil Knight’s Indian name?
I’m sure some will say I’m just jealous that Georgia didn’t get these laser-perforated (seriously) lightweight uniforms offering the sort of flexibility you don’t often find in, you know, fabric, but I’m actually glad the Hoop Dogs were excluded this go-round, because I know that means the Red and Black will be in line next time, when Nike unveils its Mega Ultra Mountaintop Featherweight Plutonium unis, and those bad boys will be sweet! I hear they’re like playing basketball naked on a cloud with angels.
Go ‘Dawgs!
0 recs | 39 comments
Considering that the link took me to an error message,
I picked the “not worth the mouse click” one. And I knew we would be excluded from this because the article I read about the uniforms said they were given to powerhouse programs that had won national championships in basketball. Not being good can have some benefits, apparently.
Cherokee's Grip - January 25, 2012
Yeah, I don't know what happened there.
While you were leaving your comment, I was fixing the link, which ought to work now.
I have no idea what sort of snafu occurred, other than the general bad juju that’s been evident around here this evening, but I apologize for the inconvenience.
It just ain’t been my day.
T Kyle King - January 25, 2012
If it makes you feel any better,
my answer is the same after clicking the fixed link. Granted, I doubt I’m ever going to have a favorable opinion about a uniform that includes orange.
Cherokee's Grip - January 25, 2012
But they each have matching arm sleeves!!!
Mr. Sanchez - January 26, 2012
re: Bill Connelly
For the record, I like Bill C a lot and I’m sure his data is useful. That being said, anytime I try to figure out all those football outsiders formulas my eyes glaze over immediately. I’m not saying they’re wrong, just not interesting for me.
Mark Mandingo - January 25, 2012 via mobile
WOW, gee golly, they make the players INVISIBLE!!!
Oh, wait…they don’t? That’s just how the uniforms are being presented? Well then, they suck. That weird color scheme might be cool for one school, but all of them? C’mon Nike, at those sweatshop rates, you can afford to hire 8 foreign children to design separate uniforms for your 8
gullibleforward-thinking teams.MidnightFrost1701 - January 25, 2012
I couldn't help but notice . . .
. . . that a couple of the teams will be wearing their uniforms when facing Tennessee, which I take to be Nike’s way of saying, “Bite me, Adidas!”
(By the way, “Bite me, Adidas!” was Falco’s much less successful second 1985 single release.)
T Kyle King - January 25, 2012
I'd rather they say, "Bite me, Tennessee."
Now that’s a uniform I could get behind, no matter who’s wearing it.
As for your Falco reference, I’m afraid it went right over my head, so I had to Google it. Funny stuff, though (I think)!
MidnightFrost1701 - January 25, 2012
Sorry!
As I said in the latest podcast, I am Scott Marchand!
T Kyle King - January 25, 2012
Yeah, I just looked at the schedule again, and there's no question it's deliberate:
The Nike Hyper Elite Platinum uniforms will be worn in two games against Tennessee (Adidas), two games against Maryland (Under Armour), two games against Notre Dame (Adidas), one game against UCLA (Adidas), and one game against South Florida (Under Armour). Nike is singling out the teams that don’t don its duds.
T Kyle King - January 25, 2012
Gray For Gray's Sake
Only schools I can think of off the top of my head these would have made any lick of sense for are tOSU and our Hoop Dawgs.
The984 - January 25, 2012
I got 3 words into the title of the post...
… and that’s about it.
WHY NIKE? WHY?
vineyarddawg - January 26, 2012
honest to god
all this uniforms nonsense makes auburn seem like the savvy ones for going with under armour.
yes. i actually typed that.
kleph - January 26, 2012
Can we get Russell back?
Mr. Sanchez - January 26, 2012
CMR goes to church.
Everytime the door swings. And Nike should make shoes and STFU about anything else.
CaptJackSparrow - January 26, 2012
Na uh, Mark Richt went to Jail!
AJC headline UGA’s Mark Richt goes to jail for recruiting.
Mr. Sanchez - January 26, 2012
And in case you don't want to click the link
and I’d rather not encourage giving that crap wrapper page hits, he actually went to church with Josh Harvey Clemons as expected. JHC’s grandfather has a bail bond business, and his grandson is one of the bondsmen. He got a call for work while in church, and when one of JHC’s aunts, who went with him, forgot her ID, RIcht and Bobo brought it to them at the jail. But great sensationalist headline sure to encourage hits from haters, and defenders wanting to call the AJC out for their sensationalist headline writing.
#fireMikeBobo
#bankrupttheAJC
Mr. Sanchez - January 26, 2012
Richt actually didn't go with the kid at first.
He went later when they called back to the get the ID. While reading the story (already fuming about the fact that the AJC went for the sensational headline and didn’t explain the joke until four or five paragraphs down) I chuckled to myself because I’m certain Richt didn’t go at first because he wanted to avoid this exact headline.
AJC, you know better. You know that you have to explain every story in the lead ‘graph, because most people don’t read further down. What a fucking joke. Now I’m going to have to deal with asshats making fun of Georgia for recruiting in jails.
The Ugas Departed - January 26, 2012
Unless this fever has screwed me up bad, which it has -
Carvell changed the headline. Somebody tell me I am wrong please, because if he did, that’s even worse.
Does anybody remember when the AJC actually liked UGA? And why aren’t their any damn southern writers on a freaking UGA sports page?
tankertoad - January 26, 2012
You are not wrong
He definitely changed it. And Google Cache does not have the previous headline since its version is from 12:30 today. It appears, at least according to the AJC, that we have always been at war with Eastasia.
The984 - January 26, 2012
I am going to say this, on behalf of DS - and we don't condone language, but this is for all of us:
WHAT A FUCKING DOUCHEBAG.
tankertoad - January 26, 2012
It was the blog headline equivalent of erroneously reporting a story then printing a retraction buried on page G19 a week later
AJC got the hits. The intentionally misleading (and frankly inflammatory) headline brought in the hits. It got tons of comments. It made the paper money because controversy creates cash. Then, several hours later, without even acknowledging the change, the headline is altered to be less controversial. By then, the story would have been linked to by the blogosphere under its previous headline of “Mark Richt recruits convicts lol.”
And the AJC will continue to do it. Future stories like this will get printed with the same damning headline which does not accurately report the story at all. It will get called out (or the higher ups will “realize the mistakes” and change it), but nothing of substance will be done to change the practice of misleading, inflammatory headlines from being used in the future. Atlanta must have the absolute worst paper of any major metro-area in the nation.
The984 - January 26, 2012
This wasnt the first time.
I know this is the epitome of homerism, but the staff here are better writers and reporters than the AJC. Take pretty much anyone here (except me because I can’t spell and Dave because he wouldnt make his deadlines) and pay us to do UGA sports reporting full time and we would out do them without trying. Spears out does the AJC and he’s in NYC of all places!
tankertoad - January 26, 2012
They did, because my linked part in red was an exact quote
the gutlessness of the Isaiah Crowell not practicing OMG Panic article (when he was getting treatment) all over again.
Mr. Sanchez - January 26, 2012
I like the uniform one arm sleeve thing
What if I want two arm sleeves? Is that allowed? WHAT IF BOTH MY ELBOWS GET COLD?!?!?!
elfcrash - January 26, 2012
Then your elbows are weak and hate America.
Why do your elbows hate America, elfcrash?
vineyarddawg - January 26, 2012
That's a question
I’ve been asking myself for some time now.
elfcrash - January 26, 2012
How do they keep forgetting the denim in the Gators uni's???
#Nikesucks
skandrewj62j - January 26, 2012
If only we had not been deemed worthy of pro combats
We would have at least had some shred of dignity in our lost to Boise
hbtd - January 26, 2012 via iPhone app
Disappointed with Nike yet again
Seriously. There is somebody at Nike getting paid way to much for this junk. How can you continually screw up a sure thing. Hire me… I can do this chump’s job. To Wit:
DUKE BLUE DEVILS
Its just not that difficult.
RedCrake - January 26, 2012
Oh, no!
Does this mean that, next year, our basketball team will come out in Nike Pro Peanut Butter Elite American Flag Speedo uniforms?
T Kyle King - January 26, 2012
I would support both of these uniform combinations...
… and I’m a Duke fan.
Duke: We just Blue ourselves.
vineyarddawg - January 26, 2012
...
tankertoad - January 26, 2012
There really has got to be a better way to say that
/obligatory
RedCrake - January 26, 2012
Ashamed to admit
that it took me a second to get that. But LOL’d when I did!
MidnightFrost1701 - January 26, 2012
Maybe that could be Duke's hidden slogan
Nike likes to put somewhere inside the uniforms.
Cherokee's Grip - January 26, 2012
Damn it, too slow on my part
Mr. Sanchez - January 26, 2012
I just blue myself
Mr. Sanchez - January 26, 2012
Honk honk...wacka wacka! What is this tomfoolery and shenanigans! Is Shecky designing this stuff?
And BTW…Why is every freakin’ uniform base gray? Do any of the teams above have any semblance of gray in their unis? So glad we suck at roundball. It’s less embarrassing than those strapping on those puppies.
PJsGroundPound - January 26, 2012
You must Login with your SB Nation account and be a member of Dawg Sports to post a comment.